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Transformative Forgiving: The Invisibility Burden, and Radical Trust

Stop running start forgiving and trusting, Jocelyn Bailey LMHC counseling, South Bend

Tired of carrying the burden of invisible wounds?

Think you "should" forgive yourself or others, but can't?

Find it hard to trust yourself, and others?

Many people carry heavy but invisible burdens of pain that aren't obvious to others. And that can make you feel like you have no right to feel hopeless, incapable, or limited. And yet, that's exactly how you feel.

Emotional scars from past wounds can fester, robbing you of self-confidence, harmony in relationships, and inner peace. You might not even be aware that these old hurts are the source of today's negative feelings. All you know is that your life isn't working, and you are tired of it.

I can help you change these feelings, forgive what can be forgiven, and find the trust in yourself to have the empowered life your heart so deeply desires.

Transformative Forgiving

You may be holding a lot of anger or grief, and finding it hard to move forward. You've probably been told to forgive and forget, but you can't. What if you had a way to transform emotional reactions and perspectives that gave you a deeper and lasting sense of inner peace? I can help you find that.

Feeling damaged in body, mind, or spirit by someone in your life?

Holding on to resentments and bitterness about that?

Has anger and hurt consumed you, creating a second injury?

Some traumatic hurts are so big they linger long beyond the initial incident. Some physical and emotional abuses have been repetitive, and endured for years. It's common to think that you will never forgive what has been done to you. And you certainly will never forget.

You've probably heard it said that forgiveness is for you, not for the perpetrator of the hurt done to you. Maybe that even makes a little sense on some level, but on another, it's as if forgiving will endanger you all over again.

I understand. If you'll allow, I'd like to offer some thought on this.

Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Acceptance

Many people think that forgiving someone who's caused harm means accepting the injury, letting them off the hook. Even worse, maybe forgiveness gives permission to anyone for hurting you again.

But this is not what it means to forgive. Forgiveness sets you free from a burden that only you, not the person who has harmed you, carries. Once you feel less burdened, clarity about what's acceptable to you and what isn't emerges naturally. You can find inner strength in knowing that letting go frees and strengthens not weakens you.

The Invisibility Burden

Some suffering has invisible causes. Everyone says how good you look or how well you're doing, but on the inside you are in deep pain. Because you don't have visible scars or disabilities, you might think you shouldn't be feeling as bad as you do. And that begins a vicious spiral.

Feeling awful inside -- whether due to depression, anxiety, grief, relationship break-ups, low self confidence or other issues that might fall in the realm of your mental / emotional health -- is often a burden carried in silence.

On the outside you look great. You handle your job and family responsibilities pretty much as normal, but it takes more energy, and you might be constantly battling to be patient, or civil.

Struggling with the burden of carrying an invisible discomfort can become a way of life as you keep shutting down more of your self in order to avoid feeling more pain.

If you'd like to release that burden, I'm here to help.

Radical Trust

Have you had to be very creative in dealing with hurt, sadness, loneliness, fear, and lack of confidence, to avoid getting hurt again? You might be noticing that some of that creativity is working against you. I can help you redesign your strategies, discover real trust. You can change your life.

If you've been deeply hurt or disillusioned, it can feel like your faith in people and in yourself has been destroyed. You might find it hard to be vulnerable again, to create the emotional openness needed to feel close to someone, or to even trust your own decisions and needs.

Radical trust starts with trusting yourself again, finding your genuine but hidden strength and inner source of resilience.

And when you have radical trust, everything changes. Life is brighter, personal boundaries are stronger -- you become the person you were meant to be. You become unstoppable on the path forward in life.

I'd like to help you gain that quality of radical trust.

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